Alanna the First Adventure
by Stallioness
Summary: Alanna is being made into a movie and some of the actors are very interesting. The actors are characters form other movies. This is a spoof on Alanna so don't hate me Alanna fans. PG For language that some may find unsuitable! ;)
1. Intro

Alanna the First Adventure  
  
This my friends is an intro to the story that will come. For all Alanna fans such as, Emma Fletcher don't be insulted by characters and their replacements. It is a spoof meaning I will be making fun of this story, even though I love it to death. If you are an obsessive compulsive fan please email me with a list of the following.  
  
You hate me because:  
  
I have ruined an all time favorite book.  
  
I have destroyed little girl's dreams of becoming a knight.  
  
I am nothing but a heartless bitch destroying a novel.  
  
You are:  
  
An enemy.  
  
An ex-boyfriend who is spiteful.  
  
A fellow heartless bitch who believes I have gone one step to far.  
  
You would like to tell me this most:  
  
You are going to hell.  
  
Remember Jesus Christ's shit list, well you're on it.  
  
I used to love this character an now you've ruined it.  
  
Or simply, I hate you.  
  
This part of the intro will explain which character has taken over which. Also do not be alarmed these are random characters. I will place what movie they are from so that you know.  
  
Alanna: Hermione (Harry Potter)  
  
George: Sam (Lord of the Rings)  
  
Gary: Neo (Matrix + and Reloaded)  
  
Raoul: Pipin (Lord of the Rings)  
  
Alex: Neville (Harry Potter)  
  
Jon: Key Maker (Matrix)  
  
Thom: Frodo (Lord of the Rings)  
  
Maude: Trinity (Matrix)  
  
There are plenty characters that I have forgotten I will post them later enjoy the story! R&R 


	2. Trebond Castle

Alanna the First Adventure  
  
A/N: By the way the directors initials are SM. They are my initials okay, okay. Also Coram is Gollum.  
  
"That is my decision. We need not discuss it," said the man at the desk. He was already looking at a book. His two children left the room, closing the door behind them.  
  
Scene 1 - Trebond- Title: Twins  
  
Frodo: "He doesn't want us around. He doesn't care what we want. Wait that seems a little strong doesn't it."  
  
SM: "Keep going."  
  
Hermione: "We know that. He doesn't care about anything except his books and scrolls."  
  
Frodo: Hits wall unenthusiastically and yells in soft voice. "I don't want to be a knight! I want to be a great sorcerer! I want to slay Gods and walk with demons."  
  
Hermione: "You got that wrong it's slay demons and walk with Gods."  
  
Frodo: "Whatever."  
  
Hermione: Still giggling she continues. " D'you think I want to be a lady? 'Walk slowly Alanna. sit still Alanna. Shoulders back Alanna'. As if that's all I can do with my life." ~ paces ~ "There has to be another way."  
  
  
  
Frodo: "Face it. Tomorrow you leave for the palace, and I go to the palace. That's it."  
  
  
  
Hermione: "Why do you get to have all the fun?" ** whining slightly but can't lose her smile.** "I'll have to learn sewing and dancing. You'll study tilting, fencing ~"  
  
Frodo: "Do you think I like that stuff?" ** Frodo is yelling as he tries to face Hermione but only finds her stomach ** "I hate killing, and blood, in other words I hate everything you like."  
  
Hermione: ** Frowns** "You should've been Alanna they always teach the girls magic ~" ** Hermione tries to look surprised but cannot be ** "Thom. That's it."  
  
Frodo: ** Picking an object off the floor ** "What's it."  
  
Hermione: "Tomorrow he gives us the letters for the man who trains the pages and the people at the convent. You can imitate his writing, can't you? So you can do two new letters, saying were twin boys." ** Hermione looks shocked ** "I don't want to be a boy and I most certainly don't want to be that short." ** Frodo looks disgusted at the last comment **  
  
Frodo: You try living down here where the grass is always green and you never know what the weathers going to be like it's quite a rough life."  
  
SM: "Save it for off screen guys. Please continue."  
  
Frodo: "That's crazy. What about your hair? You can't go swimming naked, either. And you'll turn into a girl - you know with a chest and everything."  
  
Hermione: "Oh please don't be such a baby. Anyway I'll cut my hair and - well I'll deal with the rest of it when it happens."  
  
Frodo: "Oh come on this line sucks mind if I spice it up a bit."  
  
Hermione: "You wouldn't know how to spice."  
  
Frodo: ** Glares at Hermione ** "Coram will notice no matter how drunk he is and unless Maude became suddenly blind I won't get away."  
  
Hermione: "Alright maybe you can. I'll tell Coram and if he refuses I can use magic. Maybe we can talk Maude into it."  
  
Frodo: ** Talking to a nearby girl ** "Oh, You think we could?"  
  
Hermione: "If you don't lose your nerve. And of course I won't lose mine."  
  
Frodo: ** Looking oblivious and staring at a chocolate doughnut ** "What about what's his name?"  
  
Hermione: "He'll forget us once we're gone. Do you want to be a sorcerer bad enough?" Frodo nods. "It means years of studying and hard work for the both of us. Will you have the guts for it?"  
  
Frodo: ** straightens up as his courage had just been dissed ** "Just show me the way."  
  
  
  
Hermione: "Well they seemed to never give the father a chance" "Yes I know but you're evil and I am trusting you. I always trust the person it's just the devil inside of them that I don't trust." "You're the computer you should shut up."  
  
  
  
A/N: Jon is now Ron just so you can make it a note. I'll try and post soon oh and I think I'll take it scene by scene now! That way you won't have to wait as long. ;)  
  
Hermione: **giggles and thinks of a debious plan ** "Just follow the chocolate doughnuts." ** Creeps off stage ** 


	3. Maude

Authors Note: I am not saying that I own Alanna. But that would be very cool if I did! I am here to say that if these symbols come up that means it's the computer talking. Don't ask I have weird ideas!  
  
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING ABOUT ALANNA OR TORTALL! Ok I am calm now! Character in this part: Maude: Trinity Thom: Frodo Alanna: Hermione  
  
Maude: **Trinity dressed in black sits and listens to the 'twins'** "This is a problem, I should call Morpheus, or Neo."  
  
SM: "Trinity there is no Neo or Morpheus!"  
  
Maude: "What?! But Neo can't die he is the One!"  
  
SM: "Trinity, you have the wrong movie."  
  
Maude: "What?"  
  
SM: "Never mind keep going!"  
  
Maude: " I-cannot-make-such-a-decision-without-help. I-m-mu-mus-must-try- and see!"  
  
SM: "Please tell me you can read!"  
  
Maude: "They never made us learn in Zion."  
  
SM: "This is impossible. Just keep going!"  
  
Thom: "Hey liar! You told us you could only heal! Woo Hoo I caught you!"  
  
Alanna: "Shut up."  
  
Maude: "Oh my God, I can read! Never mind what I can do, and what I can- little upward comma thingy-t do!"  
  
SM: "That little upward thing would be an apostrophe you can say it as can't!"  
  
Maude: "can't! Hey well what do you know, you learn something new everyday! Alanna, bring wood and you shorty **'mione smirks** bring vervain."  
  
Thom: "No."  
  
SM: "GO!"  
  
**When they come back Maude brings them before the fire. **  
  
Alanna: "Oh hell no. You can't even read, let alone stick our hands in the fire and let them come out in one piece."  
  
Maude: "Shut up, I can if I want to." **throws a leaf into the fire. Grabs the 'twins' hand and put them in the fire. **  
  
Thom: "Hey it's fake."  
  
SM: "Lord did you think we would actually trust her. Now keep going. Some one get me a Tylenol. I need a nap."  
  
**Hermione pretends like she is in a dream world."  
  
Thom: "You really suck at acting 'mione."  
  
Alanna: **eyes still closed. ** "Shut up dumb-ass. Maude did you see that city?"  
  
Maude: "Your lame it was fake how the heck could I see a city in that!"  
  
Alanna: "Have you ever heard of acting?"  
  
Thom: **mutters** "You haven't."  
  
Alanna: "Ok then you say your line."  
  
Thom: **leans forward** "You saw something?" **voice sounds eager** "But Maude cast the spell -"  
  
Alanna: ** Ok two can play in this game** "No" **voice snappy** "I didn't see anything! Anything!"  
  
SM: "Finally we can get some work done!"  
  
Thom: **turns to Maude** "Well?!"  
  
Maude: ** in a state of giggles**  
  
SM: "What the hell? This is so not like her."  
  
Maude: **in between gasps** "Very-well. Tomorrow-Thom -and-I-go-to-the-City- of-the-Gods."  
  
Authors Note: Well I got through the next part! I also realize that I haven't updated since before camp and that is about six months! I am sorry to those who like this story! I am trying to compensate by writing a lot soon! But I can't keep going unless I get feedback! So you must review if you want more! Tell me if I need to change any crap ok! Review! 


End file.
